So back in the winter, I started noticing a fleshy spot in the corner of my eye that would get red when I’d spend too much time on the computer.  When it didn’t go away (and when my coworkers were telling me with increased frequency that I looked tired), I figured I’d make an appointment with an ophthalmologist.

“It looks like you have a pterygium,” the doctor told me.  That doesn’t sound good.  “What exactly is a pterygium?”

The answer: a noncancerous growth, common in light-eyed people who spend a lot of time outdoors, particularly on the water.

“Are you in the sun or on the water a lot?” he asked.  I felt so convicted.   I’ve been on the water more in the last six months than I have probably my entire life, thanks to this obsession hobby.

So I confessed that I started surfing last summer, causing me to be on the water quite a bit more than I ever used to be.

Dr. Mallory smiled. He’s a dear man in his 70s who has a very pleasant nature.  But unfortunately he didn’t have very pleasant news.

These growths can be difficult to get rid of and surgery has a low success rate because the pterygiums usually return, often times bigger than they were originally.

Surgery?!?!  On my eye??  Oh no thank you – I don’t even do eye drops…let alone stitches on my eye ball!!  I’d rather have a glass eye.

Luckily, my pterygium had not yet begun growing over my iris, and surgery isn’t suggested until the pterygium begins to impede vision.  So he took some measurements and prescribed steroid drops to use twice a day (but no more because they’ve been linked to glaucoma).  He told me to come back in two weeks to see if it began to shrink.

The upside of this was that I had to conquer my eye-drop fear. Yes, just like Rachel Green.

Love that show.

The downside was that after two weeks the pterygium hadn’t shrunk.  It grew. It grew a whole millimeter, thereby doubling in size.  That’s right, doubling.

I was bummed to receive this news despite the fact that in addition to using the steroid drops (enough to hopefully shrink the pterygium, but not enough to increase my risk of glaucoma – quite the little tight rope I’ve been walking), I had also been using artificial tears.  Those not only keep the eye moist, which reduces the redness around the pterygium, but they also can act as sunscreen for the eye when in the sun, I learned.

More than that, I went the extra mile by investing in a surf hat, which is a ball cap with chin straps. And yes, it is absolutely as nerdy as it sounds.

Let’s be real honest – as a 30-year-old, fair skinned, freckly woman learning to surf, I could use as much help in the Cool Department as possible.  But I am committed to not having someone bust out the sewing needle anywhere near my eye ball so I’ll wear that damn hat.

 annndd…even cooler when it comes off and hangs around my neck like a backwards neckerchief:

So Dr. Mallory told me to continue using the drops and make another appointment in six months to see if it has continued to grow.

In the meantime, my male coworkers (who are as mature as my brothers) have been sending horrible Google images of pterygiums and collaborating with Ted to photoshop patches on pictures of me surfing.

How could a person take a sport so cool and turn it into a fountain of nerdiness?