Practicality Schmacticality

I’m a pretty practical person.  I still pack my lunch even though I left elementary school a long time ago, I once paid my electric bill with money my dad and stepmom gave me for an Easter dress; and I bring my own snacks to the movies.  So when Ted mentioned getting my own surf board, I thought, “but those are expensive and we can just share.”

Yet, the idea did appeal to me.  I never spend money, real money, on anything indulgent like this, and my parents gave me cash for my birthday a year ago specifically intended for something recreational.  So after mulling it over, I decided I’d peruse local shops for a used board.

However, Ted had a different idea and two days after my birthday, he found potentially the icing on the cake.  When I went over to his house that afternoon, on the wall where he normally had his board was instead a big, pink, Roxy surf board practically screaming “Happy Birthday Maureen!!!”

“What is this? What is this on your wall??”

It was an adorable 7-foot soft‑top which he borrowed from a shop that sells used boards and it was mine if I liked it.  So we took it for a spin the next day.

As I paddled out, I felt more anchored on the board because it wasn’t as slick as the fiberglass one I’d been learning on and because soft-top boards are made with rugged foam so they are easier for learning.

There was a decent easterly wind so I had to keep paddling down the beach to hold my position, but it quickly became obvious that paddling was going to be easier than sitting on the board because it kept rolling over!

I don’t know what it was.  Maybe because this board was much shorter than the 8’6” that I’d gotten used to and quite a bit narrower, or maybe it was the shape of the board, but I just couldn’t stay on it!

What began as funny quickly turned into frustrating because when a potential wave would come, I’d try to turn my board to face the shore but instead I’d roll it over and miss the wave!  Then on the waves that I did get in position for in time, I ended up pearling the nose into the water when I went to pop up. This would send me face forward into the wave where I’d inevitably get tumbled about before I could come up for air.

To make matters worse, my typical knee bruises I’ve grown used to were becoming more like mild road rash.  I realized it was from rubbing against the foam top, and the salt water only added to the problem.

But if it’s one thing I have, it’s heart, so I kept trying for that illusive wave.  Over and over again I tried and I was either too far back on the board causing the wave to roll up under me or, as was more often the case, I was too far forward and I would pearl the nose, ending all chances of a ride.

On what ended up being my last wave, I got impatient and leaned too far forward.  The front of the board dipped into the water and the back of it got lifted up by the wave…into the washing machine I went.  As I was getting spun around underneath the wave, the oh-so buoyant board shot straight up out of the water spinning around, which caught the attention of everyone on the beach in all of its bright-pink glory.

After I paddled back to the beach, while focusing on not rolling off the board, I picked up the “soft” top and hobbled up to the surf bag.  I finally got to survey my scraped-up knees up close and it became clear this isn’t the one after all.